"You are not alone , for i am here with u ....sang by michael jackson? FK THIS SONG , RUBBSISH . why do i say this? for i am all alone ........ i ask father can go out not , turn out to be a NO. negotiations werent friendly at all. didnt get to go out in th end . i didnt noe wad tto do . i just off the com and cry .... i just kept on crying quietly under the pillow ...... i didnt want them to noe that i am crying ...... i just keep thinking why cant i be like all others? why must i be the 1 to get this kind of things and not others? i have nobody to talk to at all ..... girlfriend's been giving me cold shoulders lately . i just kept on ccrying and crying till i fell asleep . woke up . went to toilet 1st thing , came out of toilet father ask me to go eat . i go eat lo . went back to bed after sleeping. he tell me don let me go out is for my own good bla bla bla bla. I JUST FREAKING WANTS TO GO OUT BEFORE I CANT , GET THAT IN UR FUCKING MIND ., cried again after he left the room . i cant tell him how much i want to go out at that point of time . i chose to keep it to myself..... girlfriend called after that . didnt have to mood to pick up the phone . hanged up . felt bad after that so called back . asked her wad she called me for . she said nothing . then i said bye and just hanged up . carried on crying after that..... I SAT UP . parents in the room with doors closed , didnt noe wad to do . i hoped that some1 would call me at the point of time . feeling really low.... but a mircale didnt happen. off the com hoping ppl would tok to me . but didnt have to mood to tok anymore . so now i am posting and offing to com after this .......... FML
you are not with me when i needed u the most.

♥ 4:35 AM

..... sometimes i think of why am i so suay to be the 1 out the thousand to tio this kind of thing == . i am currently occupying the whole house ALL BY MYSELF. parents went out , brother went to find friends .. i look out of the windows , its the familiar evening view that i used to see . i turn my head back . and it is the 4 RETARDED walls that cant even speak to me ... why cant i just go out? not to say return to the life i used to have , but just going out when i am feeling when sometimes???.............

♥ 2:48 AM